There is no picture able to describe the title so there won’t be. This is just a random thoughts coming.

A plot twist is a situation in which a person expects or is expected to go to certain direction, but a lot of sudden, some outer force (to be more realistic, you can change it as ‘condition’) influences the direction that he/she goes to the other way. No, it is too simple and does not do justice to the words. It is not only affecting the process. The outer force causes a different outcome. An unexpected change. Yeah sometimes you expect a change in something, brur.

For example, let’s say a girl named Ariel has a commitment with a boy named Calvin to get married when they are 28 years old. Both of their parents agree. Their friends are happy. Each of them are loyal to each others. They love each other. Ceteris paribus, their dream will be realized at the time.

But few months before their marriage, Ariel is found to have a debt with bad guys and unable to pay them back. Ariel does not want to cause anybody harm so she does not tell Calvin nor her parents nor her friends. The debt collector decides to do a lot of cruel things to Ariel and as a result, they cause her dead. Calvin is crying, at the end, because he has lost the love of his life.

Hopefully it make things clear.

You may think that is dramatic, let me show a more realistic example, A is a stupid kid. He fails his daily exam and never manages to get 90. He is expected to fail at his university entrance test. But he makes it. He sucessfully passes and gets Physics as his major.

Every people, I am 100% sure, ever faces this situation, has their own plot twists. That changes their view on other people or other people on them. That changes their life, for better or even worse. Some manages to laugh at their own plot twists, some cry over ’em. It happens to me, a lot of time, which can be helpful or awful.I have got used to it.

A plot twist does not need to be dramatic like what Ariel and Calvin face. It is a matter of the outcome. If the outcome is what you are not expecting, you face one. Lol. End of blabberings.



A Boredom Killer.


There is always a struggle when a change occurs. A struggle to make sense of it. A struggle to fight for or over it. A struggle to reject or to accept it. A struggle to leave or join it. Thus, one or a thing should have enough strength to pass the moment.

A change happens as one or a thing is in the transition towards a new phase. A change is not always a betterment, or going towards something pleasurable. That is the normal one, I name it. Sometimes, a change diverts one or a thing from a nicety to an empty or difficult or unpleasant situation, or self.That is the deviant one. Well, I come up with the name by myself and they are not academically valid so feel free to share your opinion lol.

A change is a part of time. No, it is the effect. Aligned with the journey of the time, it goes and stays in the future. And since time cannot be pulled back,thus a change cannot be prevented.

A change is horrifying. Exhausting. Yet never ending. But one or a thing has to overcome the feeling and embrace it. That is the struggle. And there is always a struggle when a change occurs.

change-emotions_multi-directional-sign (1)

Titik Nol



Karena belakangan inspirasi menulis merupakan sumber daya yang langka, ada baiknya segala sesuatu yang ada di kepala dituangkan segera sebelum akhirnya menguap dan hilang tak bersisa. Belum layak jika melihat dari sisi teknis, namun sebagai bentuk penghargaan terhadap diri sendiri, tulisan penuh cela ini pun dianggap pantas untuk menjadi penyegar mata dan kepala manusia.

Silahkan dinikmati!

Aku berharap ketika aku berjalan pulang, aku sembrono menyebrang lalu ditabrak mobil. Kepalaku terbentur ke aspal, berdarah sebanyak air gelas yang tumpah. Lalu pengendaranya pergi meninggalkanku sebelum akhirnya orang-orang mengerumuni tubuhku dan mencari bala bantuan. Sayangnya, bala bantuan terlambat sehingga nyawaku pun tak terselamatkan…

Oh tidak, tidak! Jangan demikian! Aku tidak mau mati dengan kotak berisi kesalahan-kesalahanku yang tak sempat kuperbaiki. Aku tidak mau mati dengan membawa sebongkah hati yang rusak. Aku tidak mau mati dengan ingatan terakhir tentang dia. Aku tidak mau mati dengan pikiran yang tak berpengharapan.

Aku ingin sekalipun bala bantuan terlambat, aku masih bisa diselamatkan. Ambulans datang membawa kru berjubah putih yang memberiku pertolongan pertama yang cukup, yang bisa membuat jantungku tetap berdetak hingga ke rumah sakit. Aku ingin tetap bernafas dan berdoa di alam bawah sadarku, dan memikirkan orang tua dan adik-adikku. Juga sahabat-sahabatku.

Namun karena aku menyadari kekuatanku, aku berharap ketika aku bangun ingatanku selama dua tahun terakhir menghilang. Aku tidak ingin mengingat segala sesuatu yang bermula di bulan Sang Kaisar dua tahun lalu. Aku tidak mau memulai semua kesalahan tidak menyenangkan ini. 

Tidak, seharusnya lebih jauh lagi. Aku tidak ingin mengingat segala sesuatu di akhir bulan Kebohongan tahun lalu. Sekalipun ada banyak ingatan emas yang harus dikorbankan. Aku ingin mengulang semuanya dari titik nol.

I hope every tomorrow will be a start of a new day

Just like every today is a story of choked and stuffed

Oh Grace, I do not know how to tell you this

A thing I know does not deserve to be burdened

I feel alone, I think I am alone

I need someone to save my soul

I am afraid of meeting my parents

I can’t stand new people

Is my end close? Oh how I hope so



When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

  • Refrain:
    It is well with my soul,
    It is well, it is well with my soul.


Even so, I just want to cry and plea today

since tomorrow I need to wake up feeling brand new

Rune for The Spirits



~~This is just a fiction, written in the midst of eating Wafer Selamat, Indomie, and Roasted Pork while thinking how I can endure hiking but not finishing my plot and book. Hope you enjoy this. It’s rainy outside~~


My uncle told me death is coming for every living creatures in the world. Good and bad ones. baby and grandpa. dog and the owner. Him and me.

It comes in a hugely surprising manner for some, but sometimes for the lucky ones, can be prepared. Some face it right in the morning after waking up, or even in sleep they meet. In a crowded place, killed by a mentally blocked people, or in a quiet place because you eat a wrong fruit.

He added, for some people, death is an unpleasant, thus unwanted, thing in their life. It blocks their chances to achieve more on earth. It will hinder them from watching their upcoming anticipated favorite movies with their beloved. It will stop them watching their kids, brothers, sisters, friends grow. It will stop them grow. It will make them lose the opportunity to apologize and forgive. It will make their surroundings gloomy. It is so full of uncertainty, like, whether The Afterlife is opened for ’em or not. It is a misery thing this world has.

There are also many contrast views. The desperate living things will rejoice, since nothing could be their hope on earth. And nothing depends on them. They hold onto nothing, and nothing hold on to them. A hopeless life is so unworthy, and death is a good answer to end it. Some cherish it for they are able to stay young in the memory. Some choose it to stop their pain. Some choose it to fund their family.  Some said to cleanse this world’s sin, in Jesus way or in Osama way.

My uncle said there is more to death than what he told. He asked that I should be thinking about it every night to live a life I will never regret.

Prologue : My Name


my name

Once upon a time, I come in to a place where the people are as bright as the sky. They are a bunch of fine-brained with ambition to take down all creatures above the galaxy and below the earth. Majority is the born-stars, while very few are those called The Average. They spend whole day and night debating over things in this world and solving problems, even if they are just as tiny as the tip of my pink finger. They want to be noticed so badly, appraisal is what they seek and sleek is their tongue. They are a collection of aggressive, calculative, brave, human. They are beastly, but at the same time, likable. Those are the Attackers. Those are The Strategists.

The Average is a collection of people who are no longer unable to grow and do not seek for any improvement. They are bunch of guys who just live to live, going distinct time after time. They are unacceptable, that is why they are closed-off. They are the Bridge Builder, The Hammersmith, The Weapon Makers. The judgement is they can work only with hand. And to their names no one is interested.

I am trusted as one of the born-stars, deep inside I know that is true. My name is unknown. But quirky is my personality compared to the those, that they believe I am not. The judgment is I am passive. Spirit of competing is what I do not have. I am only sitting while others are running. Bad is my tongue and slow is my brain. In my own world I live. I am assigned as one of the Attacker while the judgment is my seat should be what The Average just do. I am not refusing the judgement since true are most of the contents.  But wrong is the part that I am incapable of competing.  And to defend myself in the assessment, I can think even though slow is the run. I am seeking for a growth and my soul wants to be involved in the taking-downs.

to be continued.


It’s… like this

I am always afraid of night

Ghosts of the past are everywhere, this heart could not pump in its normal speed

This brain goes nowhere but flies anywhere

and comes back bringing things you think you do not have

I think I can’t be friend with night

It befriends the unwanted parts of me, pushes it out

They do not kill but choke and poke, slowly

You are unable to move just by imagining

I detest night

Reality is there, and I wonder if the empty will be gain content